There is an expectation among women in the 21st century that you need to have it all: education, career, family, travel, and still have time to cook dinner and drop the kids off at hockey practice. There is an immense amount of pressure to be everything to everyone but not enough hours in the day to accomplish it all. We are forced to choose a career over family, as many companies do not focus on or promote the importance of work-life balance.
Three years ago, I found myself in the precarious situation of being a single parent. Saying those words is almost like spitting a bad taste out of my mouth. I don’t want to be a single parent, not because of the stigma attached to it or because it is difficult but because the extra word doesn’t change the fact that I am a parent. The problem is that society views this in two ways: I am either a burden to society, or I need to be Super Mom.
Being a person who believes that I control my life and my fate, I chose the higher road of Super Mom. I had to get my priorities in order to provide for my son. This meant sacrifice. I have sacrificed sleep, time with friends, vacations, my looks, having a relationship and having a moment's sanity in my day. I decided to return to school and completed my degree this week while working full-time. I also somehow manged to hold down an internship for seven months on top of school and work.
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On the outside, to my friends and acquaintances, I looked like I just completely had it together. I could prioritize, and I could do anything. News flash: I can't. I am not Super Mom. I am a person like any other just doing what I have to in order to make it to the next day (and doing it without excuses). I have missed more time with my son in the past three years than I care to disclose or even think about. That is what hurt the most.
I could not have accomplished anything that I have over the past three years without my family. They sacrificed more than I did, enduring my sometimes abysmal attitude and meltdowns, and doing everything they could to make sure that my son is the most loved and cared-for child in the world and that I was able to reach my goals. I owe absolutely everything I have achieved to them, especially my mom.
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Life isn't about the career, the car, vacations or a piece of paper anointing you as a person of an educated mind. Work is just something that is meant to pay for the things that are important to you. School is a mechanism to reach that job, depending on the road you chose. The people around me who make work their first priority are completely misguided in their thinking. We are not on this earth to work day in and day out. We are supposed to work to help create the life we want to lead. Our society has evolved to a point where we are slaves to a corporate machine that is annihilating everything in its path.
I am proud of the work that I do. I put forth effort to excel at whatever I put my time and energy into. But when the time clock runs out for the day, life is not about the next clock in. It's about everything the hours on the time clock pay for. I, personally, am going to enjoy my new-found free time with my education behind me putting time into the things I have missed out on for the past three years, and he is worth more than any job or piece of paper ever will be.
Thank you to my parents, brothers and friends for sticking by me every step of the way. I will never be able to thank you enough.
